Cassettes, therapy, and lost for meaning
i recently received a very wonderful gift. I talk more about it in my last blog post: Physical media is awesome. And i guess this can be the follow up post to that.
Tangent though, you might've seen the title.
I've been going to therapy for a few months now. Trying to work on myself and learning to process emotions that i feel i should've learned as a kid. My last session we talked about a little on the how. And the goal i have set is to try to find things that i do, hobbies and such, to get what im feeling out in a socially acceptable way. So here is what im going to do. One thing i can do is aim to write more here as a way to express the emotions im dealing with. I already wrote about my joy and happiness in my last post. I'm using the cassette player now writing this post! My other goal would be to write more for myself. It has been a good while since i've done that. Another goal would be to try needle felting more. I'm working on a fox right now if you were curious. Or I could paint my minis again! There are a few things available to me to get what im feeling expressed in some way. I'm looking forward to that.
I'm lost. In a way i'm struggling to describe. It seems to me that I dont have any thoughts of my own and im just riding along and going with the waves as they crash on the sand. I can feel the cold dampness of the sand beneath my feet, I may look at the horizon and see a sunset. The wind whipping around me, not a cloud in the sky. When did i get on this island? I feel im not alone but the nearest patch of sand looks so far away. I can try to swim, but what if i drown? Maybe the current will sweep me under the surface and i will never have to breathe again.
Some other people seem to have it so figured out. I envy them greatly. I dont have meaning in my work. I dont have meaning in my hobbies. I dont have meaning in the videos games i play or the movies i watch. I feel im just here on this sand, alone. And the sun is setting, will there be a dawn? Will tomorrow bring the light im searching for? I dont know.
Ayye you made it to the end! I just wanted to gush about the tapes i've been listening to. Let's start with what started this music journey.
The Kal-Arath OST. Dungeon synth with a sword and sorcery vibe. Very good stuff here. I def will be taking this tape out when i next start up a solo ttrpg session. Highly rec to give it a listen!
The tapes i got from my aunt and uncle. Def Leppard - Hysteria, Van Halen - OU812, Jackyl - Jackyl, and Rolling Stones - Undercover. I have yet to listen to the Stones album, the felt pad is missing, but that's okay, i can replace it and give it a try. Holy shit is Def Leppard and Van Halen so good. Those albums are def something special and i would highly rec anyone to listen to those all the way through. In one sitting if it can be helped.
Next up that i would like to talk about here are the Midnight Glow albums, Vol 1, Vol 2, and Vol 3. My goodness, these compilations really shine what makes lo-fi so fucking great. Wonderful albums to listen to while smoking after dark and looking at the night sky. Or to enjoy the vibes while at a desk job. I'll for sure be looking at acquiring the other volumes on tape.
What i listened to while writing this post: Fogweaver - Fogweaver and MF Doom - Special Herbs Vol 5 (unsure of a legit source to link here but i'm sure you can find it).
Thank you for your time reading this and stay safe out there, y'all!